Monday, November 9, 2009

"G.I. Joe" is as dumb as they come...but it's quite entertaining (3.25/5)


During my freshman year at St.Cloud State, there were a lot of small moments I enjoyed. One of those small moments was the chance to peer review papers. In that first year, one of my general classes was writing intensive, so every other week I was getting the chance to read over someone else's paper. Obviously it was not only a great learning tool for the author of a paper, but also for the reader. Yet, aside from that politically correct setup, there was also another aspect that I enjoyed about peer reviews: the horribly bad papers. At times nothing bored me more than a paper written perfectly with correct MLA citations. What entertained me the most though was the papers that read like they were copied and pasted from a Wikipedia page that was edited by a monkey. Certainly they were a pain in the ass to mold into one comprehensive piece of work, but there was an idiotic, unrestrained charm to them. Taking this notion into consideration may help in understanding as to why I enjoyed "G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra" as much as I did. It was so dumb and so inconsistent that about halfway through I turned my brain off and just enjoyed the craziness as it unrolled.


I'll be perfectly honest, it didn't take me long to start rolling my eyes. Actually, right after the opening sequence, which lays a back story that rivals the depth of Transformers 2 (*end sarcasm*), I had no faith in seeing a great and stimulating action film. But, something funny happened...I started to laugh. From the over the top introduction of the "Joes" and their enemies, to the excruciatingly bad special effects, I really couldn't stop laughing or giggling about the littlest things. My god, I felt like a child watching a cartoon after a massive sugar rush. I must admit, that no matter how shallow the film ultimately was, it bolstered some impressively choreographed action sequences, especially one that contained a thrill ride through the streets of Paris. So, if you're an adrenaline junky, "G.I. Joe" is a film that will help you get your fix. Yet as fun as it was to watch things go "boom", the film is seriously deprived of any intelligence in both its own understanding of the world it resides in, as well as its character construction.


The previous notion should come as no surprise, but I feel Sommers and his screenwriters do something rather insulting: take their core audience to be morons. Such an insult is quite prominent in scenes that deliver "back stories" to some of the characters. Instead of simply insinuating through dialogue and character interaction, Sommers and company deliver flash back scenes that reiterate details that we already know. For instance, Sommers establishes that the character of 'Duke' has had a previous relationship with Ana (aka the Baroness). Sommers and his screenwriters initially show this through relatively scant dialogue, but instead of moving on, they make sure we catch their "hints" and pummel us over the head with a flashback that makes the relationships seem forced. Unfortunately, this happens quite a bit throughout the film between a few characters and is rather damning. It's almost as if Sommers and the screenwriters are saying "I don't think they'll get it unless we show them explicitly through a flashback; we'll give them visual proof such a relationship existed!" This lack of respect coupled with some of the dumbest character reasoning I've seen this year, makes the characters seem over the top. Obviously these characters can't be taken too seriously, but at the same time it makes them rather annoying and one dimensional, which contradicts the point of even having a back story in the first place.


Also, much like the shit storm known as "Transformers 2", there was a world logic that was non-existent in the film. I could draw up a list for you, but in all honesty, I'd rather not waste my time on that. Instead I'll let this review see its way out. Much like some of those papers I read back at St.Cloud, "G.I. Joe" is a frustrating mess, at least from a coherence level. Yet within the mess there is something kind of endearing and enjoyable to be had, as it attempts to toss ridiculous thread after thread at you; trying to make something work.

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